Catching and cooking a backcountry trout should be a part of every outdoorsman’s bucket list. It’s like summiting your first 14er, your first night under the stars in the mountains, and rafting to work day. Those are on everyone’s bucket list, right? You might be thinking to complete this right of passage that you have to be Paul Maclean (from A River Runs Through It), but really you just need to use vacation days, hundreds of dollars in fishing equipment that you may never use again, and [sometimes] the patience of a Tibetan monk.

THE NITTY GRITTY

Hike to said backcountry

Doesn’t need to be the Rockies of Colorado (add Dumb and Dumber quote), just somewhere off the beaten path

Fish till you want to snap your rod out of frustration, then the fish will come

This is where that Tibettan monk patience kicks in

Unceremoniously smack it on the head with a blunt object

Quickly kill the fish

Head back to your camp as everyone looks at you in awe

Try not to look too badass, you want to inspire others as they bask in your glory

Find nearest Preparation Log and cut the sucker from tip to tail

Really just a nearby log

Disembowel and cut the head off

If you cut all the way to the fanus (fish anus) it will be very obvious what you need to get out of there. For the head, place knife behind gills and push. Hard.

Toss head and guts as far from camp as possible

Smokey the Bear is rad until he visits your camp at night

Head back to the lake or stream to wash the fish

And plant the seed of doom in the other fish

COOKING STEPS

1) Build fire

In this situation it’s best to build a fire with a lot of wood and let it burn down to give you a lot of coals to work with

2) Cut the lemon and crush the garlic

Stuff that sucker with the good stuff

3) Place the pan on the fire and add olive oil

Let the oil warm up prior to adding the trout

4) Add trout, flipping every couple minutes

This is going to go fast so make sure you flip enough to fully cook each side

5) When the skin starts to easily peel back the glory is yours for the taking

Peel that skin on back and pull the meat away perpendicular to the spine to slide it off the bones

6) Salt and pepper to taste and enjoy. You’re now a true outdoorsman!